Kathy Sweeney on High Definition TV
Movie stars and their make-up departments might disagree, but there’s no shortage of reasons for moving up to High Definition TV
People who wear glasses for the first time describe the sudden surprise of seeing things as they really are. Watching HDTV has the same impact. Some seasoned folk have likened it to hearing CDs after years with a cassette player; others, with even longer memories, to the mind-boggling trip when black-and-white television gave way to colour.
Nature looks stunning on HDTV – people less so. Every blemish jumps out at you and practically bites you on the nose. Stars who made their reputations on the big screen are having them trashed by the small one. The camera adding 5lbs is the least of your worries. Physical foibles like toupees or surgery scars are thrown into sharp relief.
More than one American anchorman looks as if he was stitched together by the inmates of a jail. There’s even a website rating celebrities on how they fare under the HD microscope (see www.tvpredictions.com).
Brad Pitt looks shiny and pock-marked, while the mole over Angelina Jolie’s right eyebrow resembles a satellite dish. Presenters are already referring to it as Hideous Definition. Sky Sports’s Richard Keys, nicknamed “werewolf”, has even had the hair lasered off his hands.
HDTV is, in essence, a broadcasting system that operates with up to 10 times the resolution of a normal TV, which translates as better picture quality, more clarity, smoother movement and more vibrant colours. Sadly it won’t make Robin Hood or Who’ll Take Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle 10 times as interesting.
So just how good is it, and can you justify installing a gigantic and pricey HDTV? Speaking as someone who will happily spend a whole day watching TV, sometimes talking to it (“10cc of morphine? Carter, are you mad!”), it was an easy call. In fact, it seemed like the sensible thing to do. But even for those who don’t spend quite so much time with their tellies, there’s no shortage of reasons.
The sets themselves sport film-star looks, and can become a feature in their own right. (Some people don’t even seem to care about the picture quality. In showrooms, the image may be stretched horizontally to fill the screen, or shown off-colour, giving everyone the skin tone of the recently barbecued.) And the cost of HD sets is dropping, thanks to strong competition between vendors.
Then there’s the expanding range of programmes shown in HD. Planet Earth is giddying – check out that snow leopard’s highly defined fur! And look how fast those glaciers are melting!
The movie and sports channels have received plenty of fanfare, but you really can see the wind moving each blade of grass with football, while Wimbledon has the shiny clarity of a computer simulation.
Then there are the American dramas, like Rescue Me, 24, Bones, Deadwood and the 19th series of Lost. Arts programming – Later With Jools Holland, or the output of the Artsworld channel – has really come in to its own, like the frumpy secretary who shakes free her hair to reveal her true beauty.
You only really feel the benefit when you switch back to analogue TV, and suddenly everything seems listless and dull. Friends is a murky blur, as if you’re viewing it through a pair of tights, and watching old films makes your eyes feel like sandpaper. Roll on the day when everything will be broadcast in glorious HD.
But be careful what you wish for. Sky HD’s Ross Kemp On Gangs shows the presenter in hyper-real close-up, revealing what the EastEnders’ make-up artists had concealed. And he was the ‘good looking one’ – Phil Mitchell had better be ready for his close-up.
Kathy Sweeney is Deputy Editor of the Guardian Guide and is the proud owner of two Sony BRAVIA LCD TVs